Stay Drunk, Ponyboy….

Another cold, empty winter is fast approaching- I feel it tonight in aging, creaking bones and I can smell it clearly on the winds blowing in hard from the west.  Memories of humid summer Indiana afternoons disintegrated under the blanket of an early darkness falling.  Thoughts of a hopeful spring rejuvenation, growing lush and green and virginal, are nothing but a distant mark in a rapidly crumbling recollection, bullied away by invasively invisible invaders all out on the hunt. And the final kill knows no season. Above me a limp, unimpressive skyline of an increasingly infected and judgemental City of Wayne tries unsuccessfully to hide itself behind the skeletons of trees blown bare from the incessant crawl of an isolated winter’s fatal touch.  Too many punctuating …

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Year 48…

I am not going to write the words. Not this time; not tonight. I am not going to write about the glaring disappointment.  Or the blatantly pointed and tenderizing dishonesty.  Or the near total lack of basic human compassion intentionally withheld for the sake of robbing a pauper’s empty purse of elusive emotion. I refuse to document the transparent, familiar injustices. Not again. I am no longer playing an uncontested part in the deceitful games designed to just fill this passing pandemic’s echoing, wheezing crawl. Because this infection isn’t going anywhere.  At least not for the foreseeably temporary future and as that disparaging truth burrows in deep through the isolated confines of yet another fucking inexcusable quarantine of the heart, I feel the compulsion to ask …

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Jumping Fences

The direction of the evening had already been predetermined by the time the late fall darkness fell down around the day, enveloping this City of Wayne in November shadows, despite the brightness of a waning moon above. The stresses of an uncalled election and social feeds full of divisive disinformation had already polluted the day.  Texts, spanning three countries on two continents blinged and blooped on my phone, forcing me to focus in order to keep track of the conversations for fear of somehow sending a ridiculously inappropriate response to the wrong recipient.  And that shit gets exhausting. I needed space to think and an unguarded moment to just process the seemingly overwhelming avalanche of churning change and possibility.  I needed perspective and quiet solitude to …

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Leather and Lace

From deep within the confusion of a misunderstood isolation sprang an unexpected oasis of clarity, a glimmer of a future forged in the furnace of a friendship born in the before time.  The time before this suffocating quarantine blanketed a budding reconnection.  The time before a sea of masquerading strangers somehow became the responsible norm, parading by in socially distanced regularity to redefine the paradigm of this novel inconvenience. She asked unexpectedly; I answered without reservation.  In the briefest blink of an overdue text finally sent, the hope of possibility landed hard in the midst of another strange week, here in this unpredictably disordered City of Wayne. It was a week full of unexpectedly cascading change.  It was a thirty hour window filled with flirting and …

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Targeted Post

*DISCLAIMER:  This post was written with a specific late night transcontinental telephone conversation in mind.  To most casual readers, it will probably read like gibberish.  But I know she will understand.” Back in the depths of a mind diseased with decay, the mouldering pandemonium runs rampant in the shadow of a plague.  The uncertainty suffocates and sequesters, squeezing tight the headache raging inside a freshly infected mind. Time becomes infinitely impotent within the confines of a socially mandated internment.  Empty hours simply squandered as the clock runs dry, leaving precious little room for the drunken thief to successfully steal more. Surrounded by an imperfect darkness, only a temporary security survives.  Soon the sun will rise, setting free the fresh demon of a new day dawning.  Just …

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