Writing

The Ring

There was once a ring. She never knew about it; it was the only secret I ever kept from her. Because after that first Wayne’s City kiss, I pledged absolute transparency—I knew that was the only way that we would ever work. And I wanted to be understood as a fox of his word. The gamble was enormous. The one involving state lines crossed. And expensive pettifoggers. Endless boxes and bruises. The ones ending in too many damn sleepless nights; the ones bleeding into hot, hard days scrambling up those congested 120 miles. Pushing to build a comfortable life from a tender start of want. Those early days holding the promise of only two tea mugs, a simple kettle we both kind of hated, and a …

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The Raven

Indiana was unexpected that night; it wasn’t at all what I had planned.   So it is fair to say that I was unprepared. Truth is, I was already at the bar when that text hit my phone. A familiar dive, comforting in its lack of complexity. A place where mostly empty bottles help to fill up even emptier Old Town people. Where the lights flicker randomly. And there is always the underlying vibe that things are just one minor party foul away from a major shuffle. A familiar tension, reminding me of family.  But at least they finally repaired the back door. The one recently battered in and then boarded back up. And that simple restoration made it easier slipping out for smokes between the pours. …

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Shift Lock

‘Shift Lock: A Metaphor for Changing Perspectives’ 5-9 p.m. March 27 Struk Studio 2916 Turner St., Lansing What would happen if 25 people sat down to type out their random thoughts, surrounded by art and fueled by Cravings Gourmet Popcorn? Find out on March 27 as north Lansing’s Struk Studio hosts “Shift Lock: A Metaphor for Changing Perspectives.“ The unique event is the brainchild of Jeffrey Gaff, a Lansing author, artist, collector of vintage typewriters and ramp supervisor at Capital Region International Airport who goes by the pen name Séafra Duffy. Gaff is a pugnacious, punk-rock defender of all things tangible and analog. In September, while Gaffs gonzo collage art was enjoying a minute of fame at Struk Studio, he and studio owner David Such dreamed …

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Type In Event

Typewriter Fox Studios is pleased to announce the areas first ever typewritten event, SHIFT LOCK: a Metaphor for Changing Perspectives. A collaboration of Struk Studio and Typewriter Fox Studios, the gallery will be transformed for the evening into “The Typing Room,” a live art installation where you are invited to come experience a wide variety of vintage typewriters. Custom stationery, incorporating the talents of local artists, will be available for you to write a letter, a poem, or whatever the muse dictates. There will also be a screaming of the documentary California Typewriter. And since a movie is more fun with snacks, free popcorn will provided by Cravings Gourmet Popcorn and refreshments by Toms Party Store of East Lansing. So shift your perspective and come unplug …

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Time

Time is such a weird thing. And 18 months is the current manifestation of that peculiarity. It simultaneously seems like both a lifetime, and the blink of brown eyes crying in an Indiana kitchen. 547 some days. A whisper over 13,000 hours.   But even that isn’t a guarantee. Because I learned a long time ago to never trust the white-coated math. In a way, I guess it makes sense. Because even our arrival times are imprecise. So why should our departure dates be any different? Born into broken water, we leave amongst the tears of others. Adhering to some imprecise system. One based on patterns I’m not sure my pickled monkey brain will ever comprehend. Because I can barely be trusted unsupervised with a tube of …

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Songs for Indiana

I just couldn’t face the idea of Indiana. Not after what she asked me, when last I was in that nugget shaped state—I am still caught processing that request. So it was safer for me to remain temporarily behind inside an angry Mitten; my heart was in desperate need of a “lost weekend” to help get my head bent back right again. As often happens inside gaps of untethered time, I continued my feral run. Seeking shelter inside of bottles. And unsolicited bar room conversations. Ducking and covering inside of increasing ABVs. Eventually wandering the empty capitol streets with a leather collar turned up against the wind blowing in off the big lake again, when numb enough to finally ignore everything. Inside the fleeting gaps of …

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Probing Uranus

I am not sure I will ever understand why things tend to get weird around this time of year.  Maybe it’s the turn in weather away from the arctic nothingness. That seasonal pivot towards the mushy in-between time. Maybe it’s the fact that the days are getting noticeably longer. Or perhaps it’s the lingering threat of springing into some as yet unknown direction. But something is triggering all this seasonal uncertainty. There are too many variables left lurking. Too many unanswered questions; too many chances to take another wrong turn. Too many tests still left to take. And too fucking many important things yet to be said.  So I have to be careful. It had been a typical mittened Monday night spent kicking uncooperative 517 metal …

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The Rockies

She came at me strong. And unexpectedly.   Her notifications hit different on that 517 Saturday; I was already off the chain and running. Because it was another unsupervised night, bleeding inexcusably into another stupid Michigan Sunday. So I was surprised by a rare interference in the drunken tick-tock rhythm of my irresponsibility.  It seemed somehow significant. And influenced damaging intentions—I was alone at the bar. Again. Punishing myself for the inexcusable oversight of somehow being alive.   I saw the missed messages. The ones initially left unanswered, despite the fingered intimacy of a quick pull-down peek. Because I didn’t know how to respond.  I read a few of the words. An overdue tag-along link to a requested song provided a new sound. Reactionary emoticons decorated coloured boxes …

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Soldier Mode

Through a hundred-proof crack of fatigue, I slipped. Revealed a rare glimpse of my bruised humanity. Briefly opened the split curtains of emotional camouflage. Raged openly in a measured overnight temper tantrum.  I threw up honest words. All the way across an ocean. The words not often accessible to those of my gender. Or station. But I wrote them all the same. Then I collapsed, exhausted and exposed, into another night of 517 nothingness.  Alone. But weakness isn’t allowed. Not for those whose destiny it is to provide, anyway. The ones responsible for protecting the weak. The silent guardians of righteous intentions. The stoic peacekeepers of emotional equilibrium. The ones tasked with the difficulty of building a new world from nothing. Only to be rewarded with …

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Fireball

Pushing hard east on Michigan Avenue. Fireballing through traffic lights. The burn in the gut helping to burn down everything else. Because it is the kind of night to not really give a fuck. Just like every other night in these godforsaken flyover fields. The compulsion is always to put things with things. Even when there isn’t a handle to hold. Or a viable exit strategy. If I’ve learned anything over the years, it is that there is always something else left to lose. So it’s always a scramble to maintain some semblance of a grip. But everything eventually slips away anyway. Behind spinning tires lingers the stink of tin monsters. Those temperamental, dual-engined beasts. The ones nightly vomiting out “need it right the fuck now” …

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